Early growth spurt... maybe?

So Toni's appetite has gone back to normal... at least for the last two days. SO I'm thinking maybe she did just go through a growth spurt. I'm not sure. She's not 6 months yet but maybe that is just a time frame? Or will she still go through it again in a couple of weeks. Did she grow? I think so. She feels a bit heavier and she can wear some of her six months clothes now... even though they are still a bit big, she can wear them. I'm still having to do the midnight and 3am pumping sessions, but at least she hasn't needed to supplement with formula... so far.

Definitely she is developing as a person! She soooo curious that she cannot sit still. Diaper changes are unbelievably harder and sometimes almost impossible because she is twisting and turning in all sorts of directions to see what's around her, what she can grab, what she can put in her mouth. About they only time she is still is if she's tired or sleeping and when she is intently studying something or somebody. She's a little silly too. One time I was trying to change her diaper on the bed. There is this big picture of the NYC skyline with the twin towers above our bed. She did this head roll to where she was on the top of her head and her back slighty off the bed so that she could look at the picture that was above and behind her. I, of course, wasn't too crazy of the position she put herself in as it just seemed like she could hurt herself. So I bring myself closer to her face to see if she's ok and she had this huge smile with a look on her face almost as if to say "i wanted to see how you would react." Little stinker! haha... it was pretty funny so i laughed and she did too... silently of course. Still tough to get her to laugh out loud at any time although she DOES do it!

The other day my cousin Kathy (acutally another family friend I grew up with, so... cousin) emailed me to tell me about her thoughts on one of my blogs. Hope you don't mind Kathy. IT was about the one with the lady that breastfed her kids for two years and how I felt I couldn't pump more at work because I felt like that was taking too much time from job. Well she's been listening to this book on CD about parenting and was reminded that our (us mothers) first and most important job is raising our kids and that work and daycare are just alternatives to doing that. And so if I needed to pump more, then I should and shouldn't feel bad about it. That's really true! And I was thinking about it that night and I think how way back when, there was a time when common life was when the men worked and the women stayed home and raised the kids. Then somewhere down the line, us women had to prove that dammit we are smart enough and more than capable of doing a man's job. And it's great, it really is. I mean, it changed us as a society and as a nation... even almost as a world. But now I'm thinking, ok we proved ourselves. Can we go back to the way it was where women stay home to raise the kids and men work? You know, minus all of the belittling (sp?) of woman make me dinner, etc. But then I realize, there's no where or no one saying we can't do that and so it comes down to the way we live. How much does it cost to live how you want to live? And so, I think it's a big reason why most mothers and working mothers. Almost makes me feel bad because it's like, well what' mosre important? Living with these comforts or living with a little less so you can give your child more? But then again, aren't we working to give our child more? Maybe in some ways that differ than if we were to stay home. Bottom line, easier said than done. I'd love to stay home. I say it all the time. But there is just no way at this time. But maybe one day. Ahhh.. I dream of that day. I hope it comes.

So this past weekend when I was at Lisa's post baby shower, my aunt told me before we left to please come by the house sometimes so that Toni can get to know them too and it made me think (I seem to be doing a lot of that lately). Since my parents have passed and Junior's mom lives in Toronto, Toni has no grandparents here. Junior's aunt and uncle, though, have always been like parents to him and so they are kind of like Toni's grandparents. So we try to go there whenever we can because I want Toni to know her grandparents. But it never occurred to me that just because my parents passed didn't mean we were alone. I really did feel that. I mean I know I have relatives, but I was feeling (and on some level still do) that hey, we will have no help and we are on our own. And in lots of ways that is really true. And while it proves to be tough sometimes, I also am proud that we do it by ourselves. But I forget that Toni needs to know her other lolo's and lola's (grandparents). My mom's brother is still here and I never make it a point to visit them unless there is a gathering there. So when my aunt asked me to come over sometimes, I sort of realized that I was not allowing Toni to know her family. I don't know if that makes sense or not but it's my new mission. To try and give her equal exposure among family members. I do want her to know how big her family is and how much everyone loves her. It's how I grew up and it's how I've always envisioned my kids to grow up. SO, maybe this weekend I will try to do that. Cousins... if you are reading this make note. I may stop by. I'll call first of course!

You know, if I stayed home then I could probably do that more often and expose her to family more than just on the weekends! hahaha... ahhh.... I can dream can't I?