Mothers Day

What mothers day? Ok, I love Toni to pieces, always will no matter what. But yesterday, she would NOT listen to one word I'd say. And this whole potty training... she is now using to her benefit. If we're out and she's bored she'll say she needs to use the potty. And sometimes she does which is awesome! But sometimes it's to get out of things. For example, yesterday Junior was working. He works every Mother's day. I know... that's another story. So I'm feeling bummed, again, for the third year in a row. No nothing. No appreciation. whatever. And I decide, screw that. I'll take matters into my own hands. So I decide, i'll have my own mothers day lunch with my baby. So after I run a few errands with Toni, we go to Chili's. I tell her, ok be nice for mommy and stay seated in your chair ok? It's mommy's day and you have to be nice. She agrees. We go in and order. i have to tell her a few times to sit down (she stands in her chair), but whatever. The food finally gets there and she says, she's has to potty.

I suspect this is a way to get out of eating but I can't take the risk of calling her bluff b/c she has refused to wear any pull ups or diapers during this outing. And well, I am by myself at a restaurant with her. Probably my first mistake. So anyway, I take her and she goes #1. WOO HOO! I'm ecstatic! So we get back to the table and ONE bite in and she says, "I need to use the potty." Ok, NOW I know she is just trying to get out of having to eat. So I tell her she just went and she says she has to go and starts throwing a fit. I'm not doing this. So I tell the waitstress I need to go boxes. Yes, ONE bite in and I pack up. So much for that. So I'm pretty peeved. And I know she's a toddler, she doesn't really know the difference. And I think, well I shouldn't be alone doing this but then again, my mistake for thinking I can swing it.

So we get home, and the entire time I'm trying to get her to eat. she BARELY eats. So by this time I give up. It's time for her nap anyway. Does she fall asleep right away. Of course not. And I have to say, she is normally pretty good. But for whatever reason, call it mothers day retaliation-i dont know, she will not take her nap. Of course she has to use the potty like 4 or 5 times. And Of course only does once, the first try. And I hate getting upset with her right before she naps. I dont like her to sleep with a negative feeling. but, that's what happens. An hour into getting her to nap I take away her dolls in her bed (because she was playing with them) and tell her to sleep. She's upset and goes to sleep. Now I feel terrible.

Ok, I think maybe the second half of the day will turn out much better. Afterall we have a mothers day dinner with Junior's family and his mom and lola are in town so it should be nice. After her nap I go in there and the first thing she wants to talk about is how she wouldn't listen to me and she wants to behave now. So I partly feel bad because she really did go to sleep feeling bad. :( Not my intention. But she's now saying she wants to behave so i'm feeling good about the second half. So we planned to hang out at Junior's aunts house (where is mom and lola were staying) before going to dinner. So I tell her, "Let's take a bath so we can get ready to see Lola Pat, ok?" She doesn't want to take a bath. I'm calm and I tell her we need to be nice and clean, etc. Another fit comes in. Yeah, terrible three's. so now I have to raise my voice AGAIN. And I begin to count. yeah you know what I mean. So she starts crying, but gets over it.

Dinner wasn't too bad. It was really nice of Rachelle to pay for it too. But Toni did quite a few times say she needed to use the potty and i knew it was because she got bored. She went once, the first time I took her and the subsequent trips were... a waste. She kept wanting to sit on my lap while i was eating, or wanted to run around while eating. ugh.

So all in all, I got dinner from Rachelle. To me that was the nicest thing I got on mothers day and it wasn't from my own little family.

ok. wah wah wah, right? So I look back and think ok. Maybe i'm taking it too personal. I mean it would be nice to get some appreciation. Hey, I think you're an awesome mother and I appreciate everything you do. But whatever. I know, maybe I should express my feelings of underappreciation. But trust me, it would only bring more tension to the topic. So screw it. I know I'm a bad ass mom. And if no one is going to appreciate me, I will appreciate myself. Sounds wrong. lol...

My mom always told me, "Don't feel sorry for yourself because no one else is feeling sorry for you." Might be blunt but very true. very very true. SO, i blogged this, got it out my system and back on track.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. I hope you know how much we appreciated all that you did. Rest in peace.