Poo

Oh my how far I've fallen behind! I guess it hasn't been THAT long but considering how much she's changed since I last blogged... seems like light years. I titled this entry Poo and you'll see why later. But first, let's catch up.

Toni can sit on her own now! She doesn't need pillows to prop her up and she can sit for longer that just a minute before she falls over. In fact, she can reach out for toys with both hand, straighten her back and all that without falling! My, my, my... she is becoming more and more independent every day.

She's not crawling yet, but when she's on her tummy she's a pro. She can lift her upper body all the way up and even on one arm like it's not big deal. She can maneuver herself every which way she pleases. Sometimes she bends her legs and pushes off her feet to move around although she's not on her knees crawling just yet. But I can see she tries. Sometimes it's like she tries to get up on her knee but just isn't able to yet.

Her personality is amazing! She is STILL the happy baby but she has more personality that she did just two weeks ago! She has a voice! Not just that baby voice but a personal sound... her very own voice. She's still pretty easy to please and make laugh and smile but she'll let you know when she FEELS something isn't how she wants it. Not that something is necessarily wrong, but just not right to her. I'll get to that in sec as well.

She's onto solids! Well she's always been on solids but wasn't 100%. Before, she still had a little bit of the tongue reflex where she'd push some of it out of her mouth by reflex. I decided to give it a few days before trying her on solids again since she seemed to push more out than what was going in. She seemed to do ok with the cereal, but with the baby food more came out than going in. So I gave it a few days and then just this past week I decided to try again and she took it like she's been eating that way all along! She LOVED the carrots! Peas, she would tolerate but didn't seem to really care for. Sweet potatoes she seemed to like more than peas, but not as much as carrots. I haven't really given her fruits yet b/c they say that it's best to introduce your baby to veggies first b/c once they taste the sweetness of the fruits they may naver like veggies. Although, there is no real research to back this up, it's one of those that most people recommend... including her doctor. So, I'm playing it safe. No harm in giving veggies first. I've got squash to try and give her and I think there are sweet peas... not sure if that will taste any different than just regular peas. The other day I actually gave her some mashed potatos and she LOVED it! She smiled and wanted more! I was impressed! We also bought these dissovlable puffs that she can eat. They are actually whole grain banana flavored. Really I use it right now to allow her to practice her pincer grasp between the thumb and index finger. She hasn't gotten it quite down but the little puffs help her practice. So really she only has myabe 2 or 3 pieces a day. hahaha! By the time she gets it in her mouth, it's already a little mushy from her licking it and trying to get it in her mouth. But once in there, she chews like you would anything truly solid. And she seems to enjoy it. I think it makes her feel "grown up" just because she stares whenever I eat.

But with solid food comes yes.... solid poo. And it's so disgusting. I SO miss her newborn poops! I used to read that the newborn poops were nice and sweet smelling unlike that of when they start on solids. Well I would always think, there is nothing SWEET about her poop. Well NOW... I think I ALMOST might want to agree with "them." Her poop now is so disgusting. For one, it smells liek mine or yours. Maybe that is TMI (too much info), but you need to understand how disgusting it really is. And it's formed! UGH! So now, she's pooping like you and I do, but it gets all smashed in her diaper in all sorts of crevices.... BLEH! <--- That's me gagging. And I have to say, these diapers are no match for her poo. NO diaper can hold all this poo! It's impossible. The other day was HER worst yet and I PRAY it doesn't get any worse. Wishful thinking? Probably. She'll just have to potty train at 9 months. haha! So She's sitting their playing and mind you her last diaper change was not even an hour ago. And I smell something foul. So I'm like ok, she pooped. My biggest mistake, laying her down on the changing table. But what else was I supposed to do?! When I did that, the poo just creeped all up her back staining her clothes. BLEH! BLEH! BLEH! Mind you she is smiling and laughing like nothing is wrong. Ahhh the innocence. So I pick her up and I'm not even sure what to do at this point. There is crap EVERYWHERE! And the smell is NOT getting better! So I take her straight to the tub. Now I know she can sit by herself, but I don't like to sit her in the big tub my herself b/c I don't want her to fall. And I didn't want to put her in her tub yet b/c well, she's covered in crap. (Yes I suppose at this point the poo has turned into crap.) So here I am with the bath tub faucet on, trying to hold her with one hand and trying to disrobe her with the other. Here's the gross part. She's in a onesie. oh geez it has to go over her head. But I kind of did it smart. I just let the front part go over her hear since the crap was all up and down the back. Ths onesie I throw in the tub too b/c it needs some major TLC. I have her butt just under the faucet... let that water take the crap off! And oh how nasty the water in the tub is. All the while, she's trying to grab the water. So in tuned with the flow of water she isn't aware of the small hell I'm going through. I think when she's a teenager and gives me crap, I'll tell her to read the blog from December 8, 2008 and try giving me crap again. haha! So there is crap floating around the trub TRYING to go down the drain. I ahve to unscrew the plug to allow for a bigger opening in the tub. Remember when I mentioned crevices? Uh yeah. Water doesn't do crevices. So guess who has to. Yes... that would be me. So I am working to remove the crap in her crevices that the water didn't get. When I get to a point where I think she crap free, I put her in her tub to sit while I try to clean out the bigger tub. We always have her tub sitting in out tub. Then I start filling her tub only to learn that I must have missed some crevices. UGH! So I take her back out, try to do the most through cleaning I can. Then while holding her, clean her tub and still clean our tub. Ugh.... I had to basically pre wash her, her tub and our tub before I could begin to bathe her. That was tough and let me tell you I was sweating my ass off. It's hard doing all of that by yourself when even though your most precious thing in the world is growing strong, just not quite strong enough to sit in water without sliding and not strong enough to stand without support. I wanted to shower myself after all that. But of course I couldn't. Can't really leave her for too long unstil she's sleeping. Where was Junior during all this? Work. Lucky ass.

So anyway, back to her new eating habits. The puffs that we bought her come in the this tall plastic canister... almost like Pringles but in a plastic canister. Anyway, she always is so interested in the rattling of the puff pieces in the canister. Almost more than trying to eat the puffs itself. There is where we come to an example of her own personality. Before when she was just 3-4 months... maybe even 5 she'd only really cry if she was tired, hungry, uncomfortable or sick. And as expected as that is the only way babies know how to communicate... communicate the basic stuff. Now, she can sit there playing... hear her canister of puffs and cry for it. Not a full out cry, but whine more like. It's crazy. She used to only cry/whine for the basics but now she does it for personal gain? hahah! she's growing. And if she doesn't get it, she will start to get upset. Luckily she can easily be distracted at this age and all I have to do is show her something else interesting and she'll be happy.

So an update on her sickness. Keeping her home that week from daycare realyl paid off because she got much better fast. I worked home tues & wed and had thursday and friday off for thanksgiving. She was well by Thanksgiving so that was really good news! Bad news? Then night before Thanksgiving, I got the stomach flu. I know, right? Off all things to have before the day you are supposed to stuff yourself like there is no tomorrow and I get the stomach flu. Wed around lunch my stomach was hurting really bad. But I thought it was because I hadn't eatn lunch yet. There was a lot of work to be and it was harder, of course, trying to do so with a baby in your lap banging on the laptop. So before I knew it, it was 2-3pm and I hadn't eaten lunch. So I took a small break to do so. stomach still hurt after that but i thought maybe it's just b/c i waited so long to eat it's still recovering.

By dinner time everything I had for lunch, breakfast and probably dinner the night before came out. It was digusting. (The poo situation was still worse.) I waited an hour and I was freaking starving. By this time I logged off a bit early from work wince everyone was logging off anyway and going home early. I ate ONE tortilla chip and drank some water. That and then some (I have no idea where it came from) came out as well. Oh it sucked! So I researched and basically had to wait at least 9 hours before eating ANYTHING. and to keep from dehydrating, I had to drink water but in VERY small amounts to keep from vomiting again. So I basically kept ice cubes in my mouth. I just went to bed to pass the time away. When I got up Thanksgiving day, I could only eat bland foods such as bananas, oatmeal and water. And still slowly. I did not have a realy meal until dinner and even then it was about 7-8pm! Let me tell you that Thanksgiving plate had to be THE BEST PLATE ever! I was so hungry! But I felt my stomach was still recovering so I couldn't got for seconds. And we still had my family to go to and I basically didn't eat. But thank God Thanksgiving leftovers are still damn good! That was really nothing about Toni but I wanted to share. Junior had to work Thanksgiving week and day so while I was feeling gross I still had to take care of my own recovering baby. That's tough too. Sigh... the days when I could just go to bed when I was sick are long gone. I love caring for my Toni. But when sick, it's soo hard! I just wanted to get rest.

This past Saturday Toni had her first picture with Santa! I don't have the pics yet but I hope they come this week. My brother's company brought over a Santa for all the employees and their kids. I got to tag along which was nice. And the pictures are free! AND I didn't have to wait in line at the malls! Even better! I should have taken my own pics while they were doing that but I didn't think too. I did take pics of her at home in her Christmas outfit. She posed for the one with the white blanket over her head. Sometims she does this thing with her eyes were she makes them a bit smaller like she's posing. Already! Then I took her to see my parents, her Mama and Papa. Though I'm sure she sees them all the time and vice versa, I've never taken her to their grave and I really wanted to do that. I think every Christmas I get a little choked up not just b/c my parents are no longer here to spend Christmas with but b/c it reminds me that the night my mom and I were going to go Christmas shopping late at night since the stores were closing at midnight, she had her anuerysm. The last thing she verbally said to me was, "Let's just go tomorrow instead." Every Christmas I think of that and it's tough. But this Christmas is even tougher b/c now I have Toni. And even though December has just started, I've already had several moments. It sucks. And I can't say it enough how much it breaks my heart Toni and my parents will not get to physically enjoy it together. Well and me as well. Me as a parent with my daughter and with my own parents. December 13, 2003 my mom had a brain anuerysm and she fought for one month before passing on January 12, 2004. I think what sucks the most is that my parents were very loving parents. And myn mom especially was very loving.... there really aren't enough words to explain. And so although I love Toni with all my heart and being I possibly can give, she will never know what it's like to be loved my mom and dad. And that really, really sucks. But maybe I'm wrong. She has her moments where she'll stare at the ceiling or off into nowhere and just play and have fun and laugh like she does when she plays with us. Except no one or nothing is in her line of sight. You they say kids/babies are in tune to things we as adults have learned (or unlearned) to see or notice. So I like to believe she's playing with my mom and dad. So maybe I'm wrong and she already knows what it's like to be loved by them. God, I hope so.