The Creation of Bagel

HAHA! Nooo... I'm not going to tell you how we made Bagel! haha! I think you know. But we were watching this show on tv called Modern Marvels and they were explaining how bagels were made. Real bagels. Not my Toni Bagel (duh). So I thought it was interesting enough to blog about it since my blog IS called Bagel. It's not long, but did you know that bagels are boiled??? That's right, they take the dough or yeast or whatever it's called (you know what I mean) and they boil it first before baking it. Did you know that?? I didn't! I'm not really sure why, I didn't catch the whole thing. Oh I take that back. Junior caught it and told me why. It's so the rise of the yeast is slowed down while baking plus it gives it that shine when it's finished. Pretty darn interesting, huh? But only the plain bagels are known as water bagels even though all bagels are boiled first.

The pictures you see on this blog I took today in an effort to get shots of Toni with her hair clip. Isn't she ADORABLE?! I know, the clip does nothing for her hair really. I mean it's still all over the place as you can see. BUT, she still looks cute you have to admit! She's developing so fast too! She gets really vocal now! Highs and lows, gurgles... almost sounds like purrs sometimes. Laughing... I know, it's not a full on giggle but it's still a laugh and I'll still take it! She's a pretty independent little thing considering she's only 15 weeks! I sat her in the little opening of the Boppy pillow (it's the half donut looking pillow women like to use when breastfeeding in case you didn't know) to kind of give her some independence; sit by herself but still have the support of the pillow around her (not pictured). But she is sort of at an incline in this pillow because the pillow isn't high enough, or deep enough to support her upper back and neck. Well this little miss independent isn't cool with that. So when I put her in it, she tried lifting herself up. Obviously she can't do it yet but she sure tries to. And when she finds she isn't able to just yet, she gives me this look and a grunt like, "c'mon now, help me out here!" But we have this little chair called the BeBe Pod that helps with the development of sitting up by themselves and things. We waited until 3 months to let her try it out because that is the recommended minimum age. Anyway, she didn't care for it too much. She kep trying to get out of it. But today we put her in it again and she seemed ok with it. She wasn't trying to get out of it and in fact, she actually was trying to play with the toys on the tray that comes with the seat. I mean seriously, just last week she didn't want the chair and now she seems ok. Developing very fast I tell you. And here I am about to put her in daycare and miss it all! (cue in crying) I know, I'm selfish. I should be proud of her and not care that it wasn't me that got to witness it firsthand. Anyone out there have the winning lotto numbers by the way? I'm telling you now more than ever, I think I will seriously be a regular at the lotto because I would love the opportunity to stay home and raise my child! You know pre marriage and pre kids there was a point where I was in between jobs and didn't work for a whole month. And I have to say it felt like THE longest month in my entire life! I hated just sitting there doing nothing! And so I always thought, if I ever won the lotto I might still work. Maybe not full time (or maybe I would) but I'd still work because what else would I do? OK, now that I'm officially a mom... I take that back. I would so love the be the stay at home mom... a soccer mom! I would! I know my luck isn't all that great with these lotto type things, but maybe if I play regularly enough I'll hit it one day. Can I just dream the numbers? Or is there someone out there with an insane amount of money that wants to just help me out? haha! Sigh... dreams.

Oh... this one I love. Sometimes when I am trying to put her to sleep (bedtime or nap) I lay down with her in our bed (basically her bed now). And when she's still playing a little I'll close my eyes and just peek at her. Maybe a month or so ago, doing that would actually make her do the same and go to sleep! Not now! Now when I do that, she starts smiling me as if she's saying, "I know you're awake!" and then she'll "talk" even more... and louder! Sometimes she actually hits me. Now I don't know if that's intentional because I don't know if babies this age can intentionally do that, but if they can intentionally reach for things, why not not "hit" things also. Maybe it's reaching that ends up in hitting. I don't know. I wouldn't hold it past her. I told you, she's a genius. There's no fooling this little girl. It's cute now but later... haha! I'll probably be taking that back.

Lesson Learned

Today I thought I'd write down the times that Toni does everything; eat, sleep, play, etc. for the rest of this week so I could give the daycare what an average day is like for her. Everything was going well. Woke up in the morning, played a bit, ate, took her morning nap... then woke up, ate, played, ate a little more, took her lunch nap... woke up again, ate played...should have napped but she didn't seem to want to. She just ate and was ready to get up and go again. So I let her play, eat again and play and by this time she seemed so active, awake and happy while playing in her stationary. I only took her out because she was coughing on her own spit (bothers me sometimes) and I had to pat her on her back. When she got over it, I attempted to put her back but she didn't want it. So I attempted to lay her down... she didn't want it. I attempted to feed her... nope. Changed her diaper... nope. Changed clothes (her onsie at the time seemed a bit thick, maybe she was hot)... nope. Pretty strange because I hadn't come across this before. But hey, there's a first for everything right? Then it hits me, she's freakin tired. I allowed her to stay up longer than she usualy does and she missed her afternoon nap. She didn't sleep until 5:00p when she usually does between 2:30 and 3:00! Bad mommy! Why on earth... duh! So lesson learned... make her take her nap and just ride out the small amount of fussiness because believe you me, the fussiness when she is overtired is insane! So tonight instead of putting her to bed at 8:00p I had to wait until 9:30-10:00p.

It's funny because I read somewhere that around this time you'll learn your child's cues as to them being sleepy. Some rub their eyes, yawn, some even are overactive. Well... I think she does all of the above! But maybe she just yawns and rubs her eyes when it's nap/bed time but when she is overactive like she was in her stationary just before she got real fussy, then i guess that means she's overtired.

For the last few days I've been trying to pump milk to gather up enough to freeze and take to daycare when she starts. I hope and plan to really give her nothing but breastmilk until she's completely weaned on to solids. We'll see how that works out, but it's my goal. The thought of the convenience of formula and having my breasts back (and the allowance to diet and exercise as much as i want!) is very tempting, though. But then I think that 1)breastmilk is way better for your child, 2)it save money! and 3)I heard formula tastes very chemically like. Hmmm... don't like the sound of that. Anyway, so I've been pumping and so far I've only been able to freeze 10 oz. It's kind of hard to pump and freeze milk when you have a baby wanting it. So I've found myself pumping late at night when I know she will sleep for sometime but even then, at best I only pump 3 oz. Then it occured to me, how many ounces and I supposed to give for a day at daycare??? I mean I've been strictly breasfeeding so I can't tell how many ounces she's had! So I did my research and there were a few different ways of telling. One person said their pediatrician said for a 3-4 months old to take your baby's weight and divide it in half and allow to go up to 8. So Toni weighs between 12-13 lbs. Say 12, that means 6-8 oz. a feeding. Holy crap! But then I also read that for many babies, although the amount of ounces taken in increases fast in the first few weeks, that between 1-6 months their intake remains about the same. I also read that every 15 mins you breastfeed is about equivalent to 2.5 oz. So from all that, I think maybe Toni takes in about 4-5 oz a feeding but sometimes as low as 2-2.5oz. But when she does 2-2.5oz she's eat again sooner than usual. I think if I can freeze 20 oz, I'll be good. Although, I may try to do more just in case. Now I wonder how much I'll be pumping at work. I just hope I can keep up with her.

Some people introduce solids at around 4 months. Some say 5 months is safer and 6 months is even better. But really it all depends on the baby. Part of me really thinks Toni may be up to rice cereal at this point. But Junior brought up a good point. He said we shouldn't introduce too much change at once because it may just upset her and make things more difficult. He wants to get her used to taking the bottle. I think we're pretty much there. She doesn't have much problem latching on to it now. I just knows she prefers mommy. hehe... makes me feel needed... and wanted for that matter.

I finished my book exchange today! I agreed to do this thing where I got this letter inviting me to do a book exchange for Toni. It gave me two children's names #1 and #2 and their ages. I had to send one book to child #1 and then send 6 letters like the one I got with child #2's name (now in #1) and Toni's name and age. In return I should get 36 books back for her. Today I finally got all six letters out. I'm excited! I can't wait to start receiving books! It's a pretty cool idea!

She's a Genius

I know... I'm biased. But whatever. I'm allowed! So I'm wathing her play in her stationary and it has this bar where little toys hand from it. When you tug on it it lights up and plays music. So she was staring at it and since she has gotten to the tugging stage quite yet, I tugged on it for her so she can see it. After I did... she tried to! Smart baby I tell you! She wasn't able to because she still can't stand at 100% while in the stationary; she's still a little wobbly. But she tried a few times! She finally decided to go back to playing with the toys at her level. These stationary entertainers are awesome! Not only does she love it but I think it really helps with development physically and mentally! Now I know why they call it Smart Steps. haha! Guess she didn't get that genius gene from me. haha!

Well she's better at bottle feeding. I don't think she has a problem latching on so much... and to her regular Avent bottles! woo hoo! that means I don't have to put that whole set to waste! Anyway, I'm thinking the problem may just be preference. And the weird thing is, she takes it when I give it to her. hmm.... Junior has a harder time. That's weird. Figured I'd be the last person she'd take it from. Well I just hope she doesn't give the school (going to stop calling it a daycare b/c I like school better) a hard time!

I can't wait until the end of her fourth month! Most babies, supposedly, will have 100% neck control by then. I hope so! Just another milestone for this little one.

Next American Idol

I think Toni may have a future in music. I forgot to post this a few days ago but she now sings along when I sing the ABC's. Well obviously not literally singing the ABC's but she'll let out a loud "ahhh" that sustains for a little. Not just an "ah" but an "ahhhh." Oh! And the other day when I spent the day at my brothers I was playing the piano (oh how I miss my piano and playing it... you can really relieve stress or let yourself go when you play the piano) I played some ballads
(well just with one hand b/c I was holding Toni) and she would sing along to that as well. Now when I tried playing some sonatinas, she could care less. But play a ballad and she'll sing along. She sang to Alicia Keyes' 'If I Ain't Got You' and to Mariah Carey's 'Hero.' That last one was really cool for me because at my wedding that was my father-daughter song except my dad was so sick he couldn't even bare to stand for a few seconds without completely losing his breath. So I never really got my father-daughter dance. I danced with my brothers and nephew instead. So yeah, that song is a bit of an emotional one for me. Good thing throughout my life, my dad always danced with me anyway regardless. So I have that to be thankful for. Too bad I took it for granted, right? Well... life goes on...

Did I mention that I am now losing all that hair that I kept while pregnant. Yup, with all the pieces that are slowly bringing me back to life, my hair, too, is falling out. How I miss having thick hair! I never thought I'd say that. When I was much younger, I had TOO much hair! Rubber bands were tough to put on and clips had to be the jumbo sized ones. Now I can use the little clips to hold my hair up. Sigh... aging sucks! Well hopefully I'll atleast retain that asian gene where I can age 30-40 years and still look at least 20 years younger than I really am.

Bottle Feeding

Are we still struggling... yes... kind of. But we are making progress! While out she would eat from the bottle... and while I was feeding her nonetheless! It would take her a minute or two to latch on, but once she did she ate. (hallejuah!) However, at home she just plain refuses. Whether it's me or Junior trying to feed her. Hmmm... Right now as long as she eats at daycare, I'm fine with that. We can work on her trying to do it at home later. My whole goal, anyway, is to get her used to feeding from a bottle during the day (the time she would be at daycare) and still nurse early in the morning and before bedtime so we still get that bonding time in. That's the goal anyway. We'll see how it goes.

So we been watching a lot of the disney channel lately because as much as try not to expose her to the tv so early, she just LOVES it. I think it's all the bold colors and songs and things that they show on the disney and sprout channel. Anyway, Thursday she and I hung out at my brothers house because management wanted to do their pest control thing for all the buildings and I didn't want her to be exposed to whatever they may have done. Personally, I don't think they did a damn thing. We don't have pests, so I don't know. But it really seemed like they never even came. Anyway, so we spent the day at my brothers while Junior was at work. My neice (who is 10) loves to watch the disney channel all day. So that's what we did for the most part. So we watched all of those shows like The Suite Life and the Cheetah Girls. Toni likes both. She laughs at both. I don't know what it is, but she seems to get a kick out of the shows.

So yesterday we had it on the disney channel for a bit and they were showing the run of cheetah girls stuff. This part isn't about Toni but is about Junior. When we left to run some errands, he confessed that he was recording the cheetach girls new movie. hahaha!!! And not for Toni! I know, I outted him. But he never reads this. His excuse was we were watching it for a bit there because Toni likes it and now he wanted to see the new movie. haha! oh well.

Yesterday I bought her tiny hair clips and OH MY GOSH!!! I need to take a pic and post it because she looked soooooooo cute! She's cute anyway, but even cuter with the clip! At least now strangers won't ask, "boy or girl?" even though she's wearing all pink! Guess that's not enough. haha! The little clips should help.

ok... she's calling for me to feed her. Bottle feeding not going well with Junior. haha!

Continuation

Like I was saying on the 18th... we found her a daycare. Piece of advice for anyone expecting and planning to put their baby in daycare; if you haven't already found a place, start looking now! All the places we went to had waiting lists as long as until March! People told me this while I was pregnant and I didn't do it. Not because I didn't believe them, but I think I was sort of in denial. I think I was hoping that somehow we'd come across enough money that would allow me to stay home with Toni. Talk about denial, huh? Yeah... not quite. But we did luck out and find her a daycare. We looked at all the bigger name daycare/schools because one, we knew they had reputations to uphold and therefore would probably be better equipped, staffed, etc. Two, we wanted to take her somewhere she would be encouraged to learn and things. We didn't want to just take her somewhere where they would care for her and not do so much interacting and things. She maybe young, but it's still a vital period for them to absorb the first lessons of life. So anyway, there is this place nearby where we live. It looked just like all the other schools from the outside but we didn't check it out initially because it's not from a chain of schools like the other places. Turns out we ended up really, really happy with the place. It was just as clean if not cleaner, with interactment/learning encouraged, seperate rooms by age/development, personalized schedules, etc. Everything we wanted. As a plus, turns out the people that own the daycare were friends of my parents and were members of the church we went to for soooo many years. So that put me at ease some. Plus it has the security cameras and keypad too. So we lucked out.

But at the same time, I don't think I'm ready to leave her!!! Here I am about to start a new job and I should be so happy. I'm finally starting my career and using my degree! But I'm dreading having to leave her. I don't have much time left with her either. I know... I behave as if I won't get to keep her. ahhaa! But that's almost how it feels. I know this day had to come. I guess a small part of me is still in denial.

Here I am trying to finish this blog as Junior tries to feed her with a bottle... with me completely out of sight of course. It's not going well. Sigh.... I know eventually she'll take a bottle too but it sure doesn't feel like it and again, I don't have much time left to try and get her use to it. Maybe these are all signs that I should stay home with her. haha! I know... these are very common hurdles every mother comes across and also gets over. I think maybe a small part of me doesn't want to get over it though. I enjoy breasfeeding her now. The bond is... undescribable. Knowing she needs you just as much as you need her... that although were not attached anymore, we still kind of are. Poor Toni, I hope I don't become a smothering mother who can't cut the umbilical cord. haha! I should keep that in mind. But for now it's too early. She's still my baby!

how crappy!

I just noticed that not all of my blog posted from the 18th! piece of... I'll have to continue that later when I have time... and patience. peace out!

Spit Bubbles

And it begins

Mother nature (or should I say Aunt Flo) has come back after a long absence to visit me for a few days. sigh... I didn't really miss her I must admit. But who ever does?



Today, Toni is 14 weeks... she's growing so fast! I swear she giggled today. Still not full on but a little more than her past giggles. Each time there's an extra giggle added in and I think she could have fully giggled if I hadn't gotten so excited and freaked out that she got shocked. haha! stupid mommy... ruined it. haha! Or maybe I just wasn't tickling her enough.



I never did mention that a couple weeks ago we took her to the doctor because she had some congestion going on. He diagnosed her with a sinus infection and she's been taking amoxcillin for it. And she's directed to take it until we finish the bottle out. sheesh! anyway, she's nearing the bottom of that bottle and her congestion seems to be almost all gone if not completely. But I hate the stuff because if she doesn't burp before taking it, she will spit it out along with her milk. I have been going through clothes and sheet changes like crazy lately. and her poop is slimy-er too. nasty. but the doc says it's normal. as long as she isn't always throwing up and her poop is pure diarrhea (like water he said). Still, I can't wait until she's done having to take the stuff.



Still struggling with getting her to take a bottle. So far I've tried different bottles. The bottles we have are the Avent ones and I still think that eventually she could use them since she use to drink out of them when we hadn't established breastfeeding yet. I tried the Playtex nurser (hoping it would just be a transition into the Avent ones) but the latex nipple although softer was way too soft and was just sliding and bending all around in her mouth. sigh... so now I'm trying this one by First years which was made to mimic breasfeeding (although they all say they do) and she isn't too cool with that. Although, i've talked to some veteran mommy's and they all suggest that I, personally, don't try to give her the bottle. I actually read that too. It has to do with the baby knowing that hello... mommy's got the boobs, don't give me no bottle. Plus they say that the mother's scent will also make them refuse a bottle. The veteran moms I've talked to have all told me to have someone else feed her and that I need to leave the room completey where I am no where in sight. Kathy even told me that she would sometimes shut the door or leave to run an errand. These kids! what we do for them. Although using that as an excuse to have an hour to myself isn't so bad. haha! I still have another bottle that I haven't tried yet, though. I was hoping she'd take the one by First Years so that I can return the Nuk ones I bought. But it's looking like I might have to try them out. It's tough when Junior's at work because he works 12 hour shifts 3 times a week and when he leaves, she's sleeping. When he gets home, she's sleeping. So I try to bottle feed her anyway, but no luck.



We found a daycare for her too. Did I blog about this already? I don't know. Wow.... my memory really has gone down the drain. Anyway,

Back to Life...

Back to reality! haha! Remember that song? Anyway, pretty soon here little by little my life before Toni will come back... a new life, but a life nevertheless. Soon I will get that monthly gift which I haven't received in a year now! Can't say I miss that, though. I have a new job (confirmed now!) that I start Sept. 2 and my hair is starting to fall out (yes, the beautiful hair I was able to keep during pregnancy is starting to find it's way to the floor). And while in so many ways I'm excited to get back out there living a life I've left behind for the last 13 weeks, I also don't want to leave my little Toni. Especially now that she's getting a bit older and reaching new milestones! I don't want to miss her first anything and I don't want her first anything to be with strangers at a daycare! But that's how it's going to be. Breaks my heart. Let me tell you... although I'm excited to start living a life again, if I won the lottery or came across a large sum of money I would stay home with Toni... I would. If I had the choice to stay home, I would. Any leprechauns out there want to give me a winning ticket to the lottery? haha! I so admire those that wait until their kids are of school age before returning back to work. I want to be one of those moms you see at the mall in the middle of the week at 10am strolling around the mall with their babies to exercise (too hot outside!). Or one of those that regularly attend gymboree or mommyand me classes. One who teaches her own growing infant/toddler instead of hoping that the daycare will like they say they do. I wish. Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful to have a new job (which actually uses my MIS degree!) and one I know I can grow with. But what I wouldn't give to be able to afford to stay home.

Anyway, Toni is growing so fast! Her sitting is getting better and better and stronger and stronger everyday. She still can't sit by herself, but with a little back support by a pillow or me sitting behind her, she is good! She's arching her back like crazy now which is scary when she's on the changing table obviously because she can fall AND because her poop can get everywhere if she doesn't stop moving! And she's so strong too! I can just hold her legs easily like before. I have to get better at distracting her while changing her diaper.

In her crib... it's crazy! She'll be lying there horizontally staring at her mobile. And next thing I know, she has arched her back and kicked her way vertically so that she can get a better look at the pattern on her crib bumper. haha! Poor thing, she's in the feel-everything-through-my-mouth phase and so when she gets up close to the bumper she's rubbing her hand over a picture of a flower as if trying to grab it and you see her tounge going crazy as if trying to feel it. But for one, she obviously can't grab the flower (it's just a pattern on the bumper) and two, she's not close enough to lick the bumper. hahah! so she gets frustrated. She gets that from her daddy! Gets frustrated easily! But she's so intelligent (I'm sure most moms say that about their babies, but it's true!) and she gets that from her daddy too. She's also in the phase where she is practicing her hand-eye coordination. She grabs something (as best she can) and brings it toward her mouth. Sometimes she makes it and sometimes she doesn't. She has the little stuffed hippo called, Tubby. And with him she can easily grab him and put him in her mouth he's so big and soft. But with her acordian book like thing, it's not so easy because she it trying to taste the edges or corners and trying to get just the corner into her mouth is tough. BUT, lately she has done so! She's progressing so well! But again, like her daddy... if the corner slips from her mouth and she has a hard time getting it back in there, she gets frustrated. Cute now, but maybe I'll let Junior handle that one when she gets older... in hopes HE doesn't get frustrated doing so! haha!

She loves playing with her hands too. I can just leave her lying there sometimes and she is prefectly occupied studying and playing with her hands. Right now I'm trying to get her to understand open and close and clapping. She's very attentive and interested when I do so, but she has yet to do it herself. It's ok though, she's still only 13 weeks.

She's finally using the big girl bathtub! She has this little tub that grows from newborn, to infant to toddler. The newborn was a net, hammock like thing that went over the tub for the baby to lay in. Well she was getting a tad big for it. Her arms and legs would always dangle from the sides. haha! So I finally took it off and started her in the infant side of the tub! yay!!! It's still a little getting used to for her (especially when she tried arching her back!) but for the most part she is prett chill. Plus we put in the the big tub and so she just stares the whole time at the water coming out of the faucet. Nice distraction.

I can tell she is going to let that giggle out any day now! I feel like I have been waiting years for it even though it's only been a few weeks. haha! But every now and then when she has her laughing smile, sometimes a "heh!" or two come out. Especially when I do the airplane thing with her.

Back to her fingers. Today I think she found specifically her pointer finger. She looks at it a lot, points it a lot and presses it against her thumb. hehe! Such a small thing yet so big... to me anyway. She's doing better with her tummy time and on her gym mat too. I think pretty soon I will sit her in her stationary entertainment center.

Still having a hard time getting her to take the bottle, though. This will be tough since now I HAVE to get her usd to it soon since I will be headed back to work. I think I'm going to try the playtex nurser. Hopefully that helps. I hate to get a new bottle because I have a whole set of Avent bottles. But hopefully this nurser will work and can just be a transition type bottle and she can use her Avent ones when she's a bit older... I hope! Otherwise what the heck am I going to do with all those bottles!?

Cry Baby

And I'm not referring to Toni. haha! I'm referring to myself. I've always heard and read that once you become pregnant, because your horomones are all out of whack you become much more sensitive. You may cry at the smallest things, like a baby in a diaper commerical. Well I can't say I ever experienced that. But post pregnancy and into motherhood... I am finding I am much more sensitive to any story dealing with a parent/child relationship.


About an hour ago I watched this show on TLC about a girl in Haiti who had this lesion growing under her skull causing her face to be HUGELY deformed. Her parents noticed something was up at the age of four and during the filming of this documentary she was 13. Because none of the doctors in Haiti could help, the lesion just continued to grow taking over her face... and that is an understatement. That lesion weighed 16 lbs all on it's own. She couldn't hold her head up without holding the lesion up. OK, now any normal human being would with a heart would automatically feel sympathy for this poor child and her family. I mean the lesion was killing her. She couldn't eat because of it and breathing was becoming increasingly difficult. Her family was basically waiting for her to die they didn't know what to do. Luckily, some nurses in Haiti go around the country seeking for kids whose health is so poor their lives are in endangered and seek help from the US from different hospitals and charities. The little girls father contacted these nurses when he saw them on the news and long story short, because the world felt for this little girl she was able to get the surgery she needed. Obviously more surgery would have to be done in the future for reconsrtuction but atleast the lesion was removed, she could eat, breathe and smile. So the most important thing was taken care of first. OK... my point. Again, anyone with a heart would feel sympathy. But I have to tell you, prepregnancy I would have really felt horrible for the little girl. And watching this documentary now, I did. BUT... I was balling my eyes out. I cannot imagine the pain her mother was going through for the health and well being for her little girl. I cannot imagine it! And when she got the help she needed, I cried so much you would have thought that was my child that was going through this. I know for a fact, I wouldn't have been hit THAT hard emotionally prepregnancy!


Just before that documentary was another one about kids with primordial dwarfism. They focused on this 14 year old girl and aside from her condition focsued on her life socially and how she's having to adapt to her surroundings every day and how mean people can be. That alone made me cry a little. I didn't ball like I did with the Haiti girl but I felt bad that she had to endure hardships like she does because she is different.


I'm telling you, I'm such a cry baby! haha! And no, you can't blame it on that time of the month because I don't even know WHEN that time of the month is anymore it's been so long (but I'm not complaining).


Anyway, the last blog was a picture I took of Toni with my camera phone. That day I sat her in the boppy (Junior used to call it the bopsy pillow, haha! fob) pillow and she usually kind of lays back in it. When I saw her down she was still just sitting up! Obviously the pillow held her from falling from side to side but she didn't need as much support for her neck like she used to! YAY!!!!! Awww... my little pooper is growing so fast! Although she doesn't enjoy tummy time fore more than 5-10 minutes at a time the little bit she does spend on her tummy seems to really help her develop her neck muscles. I can't wait until she has it under enough control that she can play in her stationary entertainment center. I'll probably cry when that day comes. haha!


She's also moved out of the 0-3 month size up to 3-6 months. She is 12 weeks tomorrow but doesn't hit the 3 month mark until Aug. 12. I still consider her 3 months. I'm able to get her to go to bed earlier now too! Today she went to bed at 10! It's only 1 am now so it still remains to be seen if she'll get up but she seems to be sleeping through the night now. She just needs that one feeding in the wee hours of the morning, but again I've mastered nursing her lying down so it's all good. However, now that she sleeps through the night and for about 9-10 hours she sleeps less through the day. And that's good... I just haven't adapted quite yet. haha! I've gotten so used to sleeping anywhere from 2-4 hour increments here and there to keep up with her that now that she doesn't require that much sleep during the day... I'm tired. haha! Not at night, but during the day. So here in a little bit I am going to try and make myself go to sleep.


I am running into a bit of a problem which now reminds me that I was going to research it online. And it's a bit ironic too. In the first few weeks after having her, it was really difficult for us to master breastfeeding. I thought it wouold come natural but it doesn't. It's a learning process. I would get so frustrated too. With all the hormones going crazy after just having had a baby, Toni having had jaundice and I had to supplement her with formula because one, I couldn't get her to latch on and two I'd only pump about 2 oz IF at that. I was feeling quite inadequate for her and feeling that I was failing her as a mother. I know, it sounds crazy now but at the time it's how I felt. I did so much research and reading up on how I can better the situation. And basically anytime she wanted to feed I had to first remind myself to relax because when you are that frustrated, your baby will becone frustrated and your frustration can actually affect your milk supply. So I'd relax first, be patient and try different positions to help her latch on. And anytime she felt the need to suck, even if just for comfort sucking I'd latch her on... it helps increase the milk supply too. Oh yeah. I also read that if you close your eyes, relax and imagine you have a big supply of milk and that you are releasing it to all flow to your baby it will help.Sounds stupid but when you are desperate you will try anything. And darn it... it freakin' worked! A mother's body is quite amazing. Having gone through all of that and finally conquering the breastfeeding problems, I haven't touched formula in maybe 2 months now. OK... so what's the problem? She doesn't want the bottle anymore. Even if it's my pumped milk. With my plan to return to work, that's a big problem. At first I thought she just didn't like it when I personally tried to feed her from a bottle because she'd always give me this look like, "you have the boobs. why are you feeding me with a bottle." And Junior would seem more successful at feeding her with a bottle than I would. That I'm ok with. If it's just me that isn't allowed to bottle feed her. But no, now it's any bottle no matter who. So I need to find a way to reintroduce the bottle to her. Some say to switch the nipple. So I may try that. I just hope that I can find some that will work with the bottle we have because I would hate for all those bottles to go to waste. But that is my new problem.


I think I am sensing that Toni may have a bit of the "diva" attitude that my neices have. hahah! It's cute... NOW. But yeah. I'll have to observe her more, but we are always able to distinguish her cries. And there is a I'm pissed off cry and it sounds like she is creaming bloody murder. The first time she cried that Junior and I freaked. We thought something was wrong. Did she get hurt? Is she sick? I she colicky (no way she farts louder and more often than I do)? Finally we learned it was just because she didn't like something like maybe we changed her view and she was still looking at something. She has this, I want it NOW cry. But... it's not often she does it.... yet. hahah! Thank goodness for that! So I suspect she may be just like her cousins. Oh well. I think I knew all along that was coming. I'm starting to think I was like that as a little girl. haha!!! Ok... I HAVE been told I was like that. I guess it's time for me to own up to it. I guess this is my challenge then. What goes around comes around, right? But when she or one of our other (future)children get in to trouble with the law or wreck a car for racing that is ALL Junior. That is HIS challenge. So I gladly take on this one. I say that now...

I'm Starting To Sit Up By Myself!

Wee hours

It's a great thing that I'm able to get Toni down to sleep through most of the night with only having to wake up maybe once for a feeding. Since I've mastered nursing her while lying down, then we both get some good rest. However, I've noticed that I am unable to sleep until about 3 am. If I go to bed earlier than that, for sure I will be up in about 2-3 hours whether or not Toni needs me to. So, here I am almost 3 am and I can't sleep. Sigh... I went to bed at 11pm and woke up at 1am. So I'll blog.


I've been looking back at some old posts and can I say wow? From the very first day I started this blog worrying, looking forward to and celebrating such small things compared to now. Still, all very important of course! Her very first ultrasound where she still looked a bit like a lima bean to the ultrasound where we found out Bagel is a girl! Sigh.... time does fly doesn't it? And here I am currently working to put together a digital photo book for Junior's mom and grandparents going through all these photos of her since the day she was born. WOW... she has truly come a long way!


uhoh... feeding time. see ya!