Part II

Alright, sorry for the delay folks. I spent all this time while at the hospital typing up the blog and when I published it, the internet was down and only saved not even HALF of what I blogged. UGH... I was frustrated and was in no mood to re-blog everything that day. But ok... I have some time. I may have to blog over the next few days the story. We'll see.



SUNDAY CONTINUED

So we get to the hospital and as soon as I step foot out the car, my water just starts gushing out! Seriously, I didn't think I'd be one of those whose water breaks and gushes out like they portray on tv. In fact, from what I've read, only about 15% of women experience that. Most women are usually either already checked in or scheduled for an induction or something. So I really didn't think I'd be part of that 15%. Anyway, Junior's at the back of the car getting the bags and I tell him it's just gushing out and how embarassing this is going to be. He's telling me that given my situation, people will understand and there is no need to be embarrassed. And while I know he's right, until you are in that position you just can't help but feel embarassed anyway. Plus, I don't think he realized how bad it had gotten until he came to where I was and saw just how soaked I was. It showed mnostly in the back of my pants but still. I should've worn black. Maybe it would have been a little less obvious. So here I am waddling (not just b/c it's hard to walk but b/c I'm all wet and gross) to the hospital and Junior is even more in a hurry now that he's seen just how much I'm leaking here! As soon as we get in the hospital, I kind of want to hide so all the people there don't see me. But luckily there is a wheelchair right there and the lady behind the desk tells me to sit it in. Now my first thought was, they are going to have to do some serious cleaning of this chair but then again, if I can sit then maybe people won't see how bad I'm leaking since it shows mostly in the back.



We get to our room and the nurse tells me to change into the gown and get into bed. It felt great to get out of my soiled clothes, but still nasty that I can't shower or anything so I have to get in bed still feeling dirty. eww... but I guess that's how it goes. So the nurse tells me she'll just have to hook me up to monitors for the heart rate and contractions and that she'll check my cervix. She asks if I've been having contractions and I tell her that I haven't. Well after she hooks me up to the monitor, she tells me that I am having contractions and that they are 5 mins apart. Hmm! I didn't know. Well apparently the occasional soreness I was feeling in my back are the contractions. I just thought it was the usual pain from just being pregnant. So hey, I know they'll get more painful but maybe it won't be TOO bad, right? HAH. keep reading.



MONDAY

Well at that point I'm only 2 cm dilated and after the nurses have updated the doctor on my status, they decide that they will let nature take it's course and not induce at this time. OK, I'm cool with that. I know things will progress on it's own. I don't feel a need for an induction either. The nurses confirm that I will want the epidural (pain relief for the contractions) when the time is right. The nurse tells me to sleep now because I will need the energy later. So I try, but I'm a little uncomfortable at this point. It's not unbearable, but uncomfortable enough that I can't get any real rest. So the nurse gives me some meds through my IV line and I feel it quick! Everything gets blurry and I'm so drowsy at this point. At this point my contractions are about 2-3 minutes apart. Every 2-3 minutes I knock out. But that time when I get a contraction, I'm more alert. It's not so bad though so I'm able to still get some rest while contracting, but I'm just aware it's happening.

After some time, the contractions start to become painful. We're going past uncomfortable here. It doesn't help that I can hear the heart rate on the monitor either. Piece of advice to any first time mommies-to-be... turn that sucker down! Everytime the heart rate starts to speed up, you can expect a contraction coming. So now that we're past uncomfortable and I hear the heart rate speed up, I'm anxiously awaiting the pain. Junior turned it down for me, so that helped some. I'd rather not know the pain was about to come because there is no real way to prepare for it. Pep talking yourself will NOT help. I'd rather be blissfully ignorant.

OK, so we're past uncomfortable and NOW we're past painful. I don't know how to explain it. I never thought I'd be one of those women who couldn't control themselves but you better believe I was! The meds they gave me through my IV line was not sufficient at this point! Well, it did still knock me out in BETWEEN contractions, but come a contraction and WHOA MAMA! So the nurse checks my cervix and I'm now 3 cm dilated. I'm clear for an epidural and so she asks again if I want it. HELL YES! STICK ME NOW!

They call the anesthesiologist and he is currently in the next room giving an epidural there and then he will cone to me. Fine. I'm not sure how much time exactly past at this point but EVERY MINUTE counts. Oh... and now that the nurse is back to stay with us and monitor me and the baby, she had to turn the volume back up for the heart rate. SO... I'm back to knowing when I'm about to have a contraction again.

It starts getting to bad that I am banging on pillows and the bed rails and trying to change positions to help ease the pain and NOTHING is working. I even try and pep talk myself telling myself that it's all in my head, it doesn't hurt that bad, you can do it and then ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! IT HURTS!!!!! Hurt, actually, is an understatement. All I can do at this point is look forward to in between contractions but even then, the time in between will shorten too. So.... yeah. I kind of feel screwed at this point. I keep thinking to myself, "WHERE THE HELL IS MY EPIDURAL?!" But I don't want to ask for fear that they will tell me I have to wait much longer or something. Again, blissfully ignorant is what I'm hanging on to at this point.

Finally I ask where the anestheiologist is and how much longer will he be. The nurse tells us the same thing that he is still in the next room and we're next. But she checks my cervix again. The heartbreaking news... I'm 9 cm now. Yes, I went from 3cm to 9 cm in less than one hour. I think I started to cry a little not because of the pain but because I knew I was past the window for getting an epidural. I will have to birth this baby au natural.

They call my doctor and all these people start coming in the room at their stations. They get the delivery table ready, we have one person getting the warmer ready for the baby. I have Junior on my left and the my nurse on my right. Another person standing by my feet (I guess in case I push the baby out before the doc gets there?), another one with the baby scale and another one with all these ID wrist bands.

So now Junior and the nurse are trying to coach me on breathing through these contractions and I'm trying to go with it because I am willing to do ANYTHING to relieve the pain. I'm really starting to believe that there is no way in hell that I am going to be able to do this without pain relief. I'm slowly starting to lose confidence but at the same time just trying to take it as it comes.

It gets to the point where I'm trying to breath through these contractions and sometimes when I breath out I can't help but try to push... and everyone knows it because I let out moans and grunts at those points. The nurse is like, "you're pushing." And if I wasn't in so much pain to talk, I might have responded with, "No shit sherlock." I know they don't want me to push and I shouldn't until the doc gets there but until you are at the point that I was, I was starting to think that I'll just deliver this baby on my own because dammit, it hurts! I'm starting to wonder how much longer before my doc gets there but luckily she gets there sooner rather than later. THANKFULLY she arrives (even before the anestheisologist!... who later comes and everyone is like, forget it.), gowns up and really quickly I find my legs in the stirrups and she tells me that she wants me to place my hands behind my knees to push.

Keep in mind that I'm still drugged from the meds in my IV and so in between contractions I'm not really with it. But I'm alert enough to understand what the doc is telling me about placing my hands behind my knees. then she says something about numbing the area with a shot or something... I don't know. then she tells me I will have to push. OK, in hindsight I understand now what was going on, but at the time I was a little lost. So I'm thinking I have to push because what shot or something she had to do first needed me to push. I know... duh, Gail. But hey, I was drugged and not 100% there. All I know is she said to push and I was going to push dammit. So I push and hold my breath while pushing because she said to and I feel the baby coming out. IT HURTS! But at the same time, relieving. Then she tells me to take a break and breath and I do, but then I don't like the feeling that the baby is kind of out but not all the way. I'd rather just push and get her all out. So as soon as I start to relax and feel that unfinished feeling, I push again and she just slithers out. At least that's how it feels. But oh my goodness... it felt so good! haha! the relief!

Junior was so happy, I wanted to be where he was emotionally but I was so drained and drugged that I was ready to just pass out. don't get me wrong, I was happy but couldn't really express that I was so out of it. They wrap her up and lay her on my chest. I give her a kiss and they take her to clean her up at the warmer. Junior is so happy at this point I really wished I was where he was emotionally. He can't stop telling me she's so cute and to look at her and could I hear her crying and the smile on his face... it was really, really... cool... and that's an understatment.

Well I still have to deliver the placenta and be stitched up because apparently I had an episiotomy (when they cut you to make the passage bigger for the baby to pass through). I wasn't really sure what to expect in terms of pain, but I figure it can't hurt more than what I just went through. And it didn't. I mean it hurt a little, but that I could tolerate. I don't know if it's because my threshold for pain was raised after this birth, but it was bearable and so was the the stitching.

So on May 12, 2008 @ 5:17am, my little girl Antonia Zenaida was born.

So sorry it took me forever to update this blog and believe you me, I have a ton more to update everyone on now that TODAY is her 1 week birthday! Awww... my little pooper. But for now, I will end this post so I can feed her and take a nap for myself!

This blog has just taken a turn! :)