Maybe I'll blog annually

I was going through some things and ended up on my blog, my old, dusty blog. Well it would be dusty if it were written in some journal and laying on a desk or table somewhere. Anyway, so I read my last post and thought.. ugh. What a negative post. And I can't be having my last post all negative like that. Plus, it's been over a year and much has changed.

Obviously this will be about Toni. The blog is, after all, called Bagel. Don't get it? Read the beginning. Anyway, my last post was shortly before her 3rd birthday, which is May 12. Well she is now 4 years old and I basically missed a whole year of her life in my blog. Can I recap? Really, really high level because let's face it... the older I get the more forgetful I get. Even if it is just a year.

So so here goes. At some point after turning three, Toni decided she would be potty trained and be done with pull ups. Just. Like. That. No lie. I always knew she knew how to use the potty and when to use it, but the girl is too dang smart for her own good sometimes. And well, she just didn't feel like being potty trained I guess. And from what I recall, right before the time frame that she decided she was trained, we kind of gave up. Not really gave up, but more like fine. Do it on your own time. And I know, they always say that's the best way to do it or you make the whole process last longer. But our kid is different right? hah. They (whoever they are) were exactly right. Well we learn for baby 2 (whenever that may be)? I don't know. Probably not. 

So she was trained just like that and from that day forward, we never used another diaper or pull up again and the accidents were very few. To date, she's a pro. She hardly needs our assistance. Except for #2 because she isn't very... thorough. And the little surprises during the laundry time... bleh! TMI? too bad.

Seems like ages, now, that she learned... decided to be potty trained.

Her speech is ever so changing. She's always spoken well for her age and as she develops it just gets better and I am forever amazed by this girl. She's pretty darn smart too! She knows all her planets IN ORDER. Do I know that? Not anymore! She can count to.... I'm not sure. She just keeps going on and I think my wheels never stop spinning so at some opinet I stop paying attention. Bad mommy. Sorry but I'm just glad she can count to however far that is! 50? 60? 100? She can count in spanish also but only to twenty. She knows all her months and days and also all of them in spanish. Her reading has improved and she can read beginner books. She went through the Your Baby Can Read series and did really well! After that, I moved her to BOB Books. There are 12 levels and obviously we started at level 1. It has small sentences like 'Mat. Sam. Mat sat. Sam sat. Mat sat on Sam.' She did really well with all of level 1.

I neer did move to level 2 but have every intention of doing so. I just caught on that it was starting to feel like a chore to her (reading) and I didn't want that. She loves books so much I'd hate to ruin it. After all she's just 3 (at the time) so we can chill on learning to read for a bit. We still read together and she got a Leap Frog Tag reader from her Lola Pat for Christmas. We moved on to math activities, patterns, etc. We bought workbooks and she loves them! 

Sometimes I wonder, is this really my kid? Because I loved  activity books (mazes, coloring, connect the dots) but these are workbooks. haha! Anyway, she completed her Pre-K books and I just bought her more.

Her writing... AMAZING! She can write her own name and her best friend, Ava's, name too. And when given the letters to spell someone else's name, she can write that too. That accomplishment happened closer to her 4th birthday.

Her reason and logic... amazing. Her sense of humor? Hilarious!!! She is so silly!!! That's an understatement. And she isn't shy. Her version of being is shy is.... "Toni can you sing?" "No I can't sing, because I'm just too shy right now." hahaahah! I'm pretty sure most shy kids would just shy away and not speak up and explain why. She is very social.

Her 4th birthday was last month and I still can't believe how much she's developed. She has definitely gotten out of her terrible three's stage WHICH turned out to be due to her boredom.

Oh there's a story I remember. Around her 3rd birthday and shortly after, she just kept misbehaving! And it wasn't like her but they say all kids have a stage. And she didn't really have a terrible two's so I assumed well here it is. The Terrible's! And she was getting into trouble at school. So after speaking with the director, the director pointed out that she is a very smart girl and knows all the answers to the teachers questions. So she wondered if Toni was getting bored and therefore misbehaving. 

I've heard of this. In fact, my nephew went through this. So she suggested, let's move her into the 4 years old room and see how she does there. Well the first few weeks were a bit of a dollar coaster. First she loved it and did well and was not getting into any trouble. Then all of a sudden she NEVER wanted to go into that room and would start crying. so we thought, ok she maybe smart but maybe socially isn't ready to be with older kids. I wasn't sure about the latter because she has older cousins. But I didn't dismiss it either. So ok. Back to the 3 years olds. she started misbehaving again. she jumped rooms and was starting to go out of control partly, I think, because she was given all this freedom to choose a room. So finally, we (parents and director) had to be stern with her. We told her that she would go to the 4 year old room, she is smart enough for it, and she has no choice. She will do it even if she doesn't like it; it's what we want for her.

She obliged. And not more than a few days later she was crying again. Sigh. Frustrating. Long story short, she was having anxiety over the teacher. The teacher pinched her once and she has been frightened ever since. And she told us this and we didn't listen. Well, she said the teacher pinched her cheeks and she didn't like her because of it. Well, we thought, oh she meant no harm. It's just because you're cute. The director even had the teacher come aside with Toni and the teacher said she wouldn't do it again if it bothered her so much.

So we thought, case closed. Well the crying and resistance didn't stop and weeks later, it was found that this same teacher pinched another kid but actually took some skin off in the process. The parent was livid... as she should be. Needless to say, that teacher was fired on the spot. And I felt so bad I didn't listen to my baby.

Since then, she has had no issues! and as she has been in the 4 year olds class for a year now, I suspect she is again getting bored. She doesn't get into trouble, but she is biting her nails now! And when I ask what she learned, she tells me like it's old news. Well it's summer break so we'll see how her last year in pre-school goes before she turns 5 and goes off to kindergarten!

Mothers Day

What mothers day? Ok, I love Toni to pieces, always will no matter what. But yesterday, she would NOT listen to one word I'd say. And this whole potty training... she is now using to her benefit. If we're out and she's bored she'll say she needs to use the potty. And sometimes she does which is awesome! But sometimes it's to get out of things. For example, yesterday Junior was working. He works every Mother's day. I know... that's another story. So I'm feeling bummed, again, for the third year in a row. No nothing. No appreciation. whatever. And I decide, screw that. I'll take matters into my own hands. So I decide, i'll have my own mothers day lunch with my baby. So after I run a few errands with Toni, we go to Chili's. I tell her, ok be nice for mommy and stay seated in your chair ok? It's mommy's day and you have to be nice. She agrees. We go in and order. i have to tell her a few times to sit down (she stands in her chair), but whatever. The food finally gets there and she says, she's has to potty.

I suspect this is a way to get out of eating but I can't take the risk of calling her bluff b/c she has refused to wear any pull ups or diapers during this outing. And well, I am by myself at a restaurant with her. Probably my first mistake. So anyway, I take her and she goes #1. WOO HOO! I'm ecstatic! So we get back to the table and ONE bite in and she says, "I need to use the potty." Ok, NOW I know she is just trying to get out of having to eat. So I tell her she just went and she says she has to go and starts throwing a fit. I'm not doing this. So I tell the waitstress I need to go boxes. Yes, ONE bite in and I pack up. So much for that. So I'm pretty peeved. And I know she's a toddler, she doesn't really know the difference. And I think, well I shouldn't be alone doing this but then again, my mistake for thinking I can swing it.

So we get home, and the entire time I'm trying to get her to eat. she BARELY eats. So by this time I give up. It's time for her nap anyway. Does she fall asleep right away. Of course not. And I have to say, she is normally pretty good. But for whatever reason, call it mothers day retaliation-i dont know, she will not take her nap. Of course she has to use the potty like 4 or 5 times. And Of course only does once, the first try. And I hate getting upset with her right before she naps. I dont like her to sleep with a negative feeling. but, that's what happens. An hour into getting her to nap I take away her dolls in her bed (because she was playing with them) and tell her to sleep. She's upset and goes to sleep. Now I feel terrible.

Ok, I think maybe the second half of the day will turn out much better. Afterall we have a mothers day dinner with Junior's family and his mom and lola are in town so it should be nice. After her nap I go in there and the first thing she wants to talk about is how she wouldn't listen to me and she wants to behave now. So I partly feel bad because she really did go to sleep feeling bad. :( Not my intention. But she's now saying she wants to behave so i'm feeling good about the second half. So we planned to hang out at Junior's aunts house (where is mom and lola were staying) before going to dinner. So I tell her, "Let's take a bath so we can get ready to see Lola Pat, ok?" She doesn't want to take a bath. I'm calm and I tell her we need to be nice and clean, etc. Another fit comes in. Yeah, terrible three's. so now I have to raise my voice AGAIN. And I begin to count. yeah you know what I mean. So she starts crying, but gets over it.

Dinner wasn't too bad. It was really nice of Rachelle to pay for it too. But Toni did quite a few times say she needed to use the potty and i knew it was because she got bored. She went once, the first time I took her and the subsequent trips were... a waste. She kept wanting to sit on my lap while i was eating, or wanted to run around while eating. ugh.

So all in all, I got dinner from Rachelle. To me that was the nicest thing I got on mothers day and it wasn't from my own little family.

ok. wah wah wah, right? So I look back and think ok. Maybe i'm taking it too personal. I mean it would be nice to get some appreciation. Hey, I think you're an awesome mother and I appreciate everything you do. But whatever. I know, maybe I should express my feelings of underappreciation. But trust me, it would only bring more tension to the topic. So screw it. I know I'm a bad ass mom. And if no one is going to appreciate me, I will appreciate myself. Sounds wrong. lol...

My mom always told me, "Don't feel sorry for yourself because no one else is feeling sorry for you." Might be blunt but very true. very very true. SO, i blogged this, got it out my system and back on track.

Happy Mother's Day Mom. I hope you know how much we appreciated all that you did. Rest in peace.

Poo

This morning Toni woke up and said, "I have to use the potty now." So I took her and she pooped... a BIG one! WOO HOO! I never thought poo would make me so happy!

Funny

As I published my last post I looked at the date, May 6, 2011 and thought... I wonder what I was posted May 6, 2008 (if i posted) before Toni was born. Go take a look. The topic of May 6, 2011 and May 6, 2008 are ironically somewhat related. hehe...

Potty Training

By far, the most frustrating task to date. I'm sure I have much more frustrating things to come in parenthood, but to date this has to be it.

They say girls are easier to train than boys. Everyone I know with a girl says it was easy. Took no time. Boys were harder. Well, not this girl. this girl has been in training for a year now. We introduced the potty to her at about 15 months. She seemed very interested in it. She wanted to sit on it all the time. I thought wow.... this is gonna be easy. wrong.

The first time she peed in it, honestly, she freaked out. I guess that feeling of lack of protection that a diaper gives freaked her out. But we cheered her on and danced liked idiots and she found some comfort in that... although reluctant to pee again. We backed off. Didn't want to push it as they say that making them do it when they aren't physcially and emotionally ready can set you back. Time came and she wanted to try the potty again. This time she did #2! Well that really freaked her out. She actually started crying this time. Junior was at work so I did the idiot dance by myself. Cheered her on, told her how proud I was, etc. She felt good about it. But anytime after that if asked whether or not she wanted to use the potty, she would always say no. So we backed off.

Time comes again and she's curious about the potty. She still seems a tad reluctant but interested at the same time. So I've also read that sometimes when the parent uses the toilet while they sit on their own potty, it helps. SO... I did that. I sat there... while she sat there. It was a while. But we sat. She says she's done and gets up to get a diaper or pull up. So she runs to her room to get it, i'm making my way there but not yet there. Then I hear crying. When I get there, she had an accident. A NUMBER TWO accident. yes. gross. At least it was solid. I know. but since then she's basically refused to to do #2 in the potty. We backed off again.

Time comes again and she's peeing in the potty. Even in school. Mainly in school, and sometimes at home. Here and there. But that also didn't last. At this point we tried just asking her randomly if she wanted to, but to no avail. She even stopped using it at school. even though all her other peers were training. We bought her lots of cute underwear and she liked wearing them, but still didn't want to use the potty. We tried going hard core. wear only underwear. That too did not work. She'd hold it in as long as she could until she had an accident with #1. And #2? She held it in for a day and a half. At that point, I was like screw it. That's not healthy. So we put a diaper back on and lemme tell you the next bowel movement she had after that almost came out the top of her diaper and the sides, it was so full. I know. Gross. But this is potty training I'm talking about.

We tried rewarding her, stickers and chart. Nothing. She didn't care. She didn't care that the kids in her class were now trained or almost trained. Peer pressure? What peer pressure. She doesn't care. I guess that's good though later in life. By now we're frustrated and she senses it. Bad. I know. So she's refused. And We just give up. Well back off... with a new tactic.

We left the chart and stickers out. But we never again mention it. We don't even ask. One day recently she comes up to me out of no where and says, "I need to use the potty." "ok, go ahead. Let me know when you're done." I basically tell her like it's no big deal. Like I don't care if she does or doesn't. And she used it! I was so excited! We did the whole idiot dance, stickers and reward. A few times after that she tried but did nothing. But she got stickers for trying anyway. Smaller stickers for trying and big stickers for actually doing it. We went to the store when she did use the potty and got her little rewards we call prizes.

This week, she has been consistent in peeing in the potty. She's actually found it as a way to stall during bedtime. She'll be laying in bed, lights off and 10 mins into laying there she'll cry and say she needs to use the potty. I know it's a stall tactic, but I can deny her that if she really needs to use it. So I let her, and she really peed! She's done that every night this week and also has used it twice at school. Today I got off work early and picked her up early too. It's 6:36pm and she has peed 6 times in the potty today! I KNOW! Twice at school and 4 more times since then.

So, I'm positive that this will be it this time. no more set backs. She has yet to do #2 but that's ok. If she feels she has to master #1 first I'm all for that. I've known that she knew how to use the potty, when etc. She could hold it if she needed to. I think she just didn't want to. almost like she was too smart ofr her own good. And now she feels like it so she's just doing it. On her own. so my hope is that this is the last try and MAYBE, just maybe it'll go by fast since she knows how and it's just matter of her doing it.

New Beginning... Sort of.

January 2010 was my last post here. Wow. New record there. Let's be honest here, it's tough to blog once you have a kid. So a year and two different jobs later and I decide to blog once again. A friend of mine at work is pregnant. I can't remember what led me to think about it, but I thought to tell her that if she ever gets bored (and I mean bored) to check out my blog. I explained that I kept up with it fairly religiously all throughout pregnancy and then here and there for about a year or so after. So she could see what type of things I went through, etc. not that she needs to, but again.. if she was REALLY bored. hehe.. so it got me thinking of looking back on my blog myself. And in doing so I was reinspired to continue it on.

They say that after you have the baby that you tend to forget about a lot of things; that it's mother nature's way of getting you to have more kids. And to some degree that is true. I clearly remember the day I had Toni and MY LACK OF AN EPIDURAL, but honestly I don't remember the pain. My head knows I was in pain, but I don't remember what it was like. Well, reading back on this blog i was reminded of things I went through and I ENTIRELY forgot about. (Ok warning, if you are new to my blog I don't filter. Read at your own risk) So the pain i was having in my groin from the baby... TOTALLY forgot all about that!!! Ok I got a little off track. That's not what inspired me to blog again. lol...

I was inspired more by the posts of after I had Toni. The videos and pictures of her... it brought tears to my eyes. I almost forgot how small and dependent she once was. Not that she is not dependent now, but she is much more independent! And I thought to myself, how awesome is this? One day she can look back and see what Mommy went through before she was born and see her progress as she grew. Given she will be three in less than three weeks which basically means I missed an entire year.. even a little more. But one year in the span of a lifetime isn't so bad.

So what better way than to start off right before her third birthday? By now she is full fledged talking. And non stop at that. She is one smart cookie. She knows her ABC's, 123's (perfectly until 20ish) and can also count in spanish. She knows her months and days and her colors. She is learning to read and is pretty good at that too. The logic this little girl has blows me away sometimes. It's amazing. Ok, so maybe it was just one year but I admit a ton of development was missed in my blogs. In my defense I sort of documented it through Facebook. Does that count?

So we're coming up to her 3rd birthday (I know, can you believe it???) but it's almost like her 1st. I say that because this is the first year she is truly excited about her birthday. Her second birthday she sort of got the whole cake and presents thing, but not completely. This year, it's all she can talk about. So it's pretty exciting for me too. It will be a Hello Kitty theme and I will be making the Hello Kitty cake and Hello Kitty cake pops. <--- yes that is new sinceI last blogged too. But if you sort of follow me through Facebook then it's no new thing.

So more to come and pictures too! Thanks for reading! (again for some of you).

Terrible Two's But Not Yet Two

Um, wow. I knew it had been a while since I blogged but wow. Novermber 8, 2009? I skipped over all of the holidays. Maybe that's why. So much was (is) going on!

Let's see... Thanksgiving, not much there. Haha... besides the turkey, green bean casserole, sweet potatoes, yams, ham.. you know, typical gooood Thanksgiving food. Christmas was nice. It was obviously a different expericence for her from Christmas 2008 since she's older. She looooved opening gifts. Tearing open wrappers or pulling tissue out... she loved it so much she almost never cared what the gift actually was. ALMOST. She even started to re-open gifts. So as she was opening gifts during the family party, I ould put them all in a gift bag that she already opened. Easier to carry to the car when we go home. Well once all was said and done, she still wanted something to open. So she started emptying out the gift bag I had just packed! Not to even see what's in there but more to just take stuff out. Oh and I have to point out, she's a neat gift opener too! we had a trash bag nearby so she put all her wrapping and tissues in the trash bag. That's my girl! After she got past the opening of gifts, then she wanted to open the toys. She got a lot of baby gifts (baby, stroller, etc) and loved it! She is quite maternal. Guess it's a girl thing. I remember being that way as a kid. Of course I was 5 and she's 20 months. Well 20 months and 2 weeks, but we'll say 19 weeks-ish during Christmas. Regardless, my point is she seems to me to be quite advanced.

I know all moms say it about their babies. But really, she is. When I pick her up from daycare, her teachers always tell me she's so smart. That it's amazing how much she can talk considering her age. Don't get me wrong, there are no full on sentences yet. But she can say a few words and you know what she means to say. She can say some small sentences, I guess, like, "Up please," "Down please," "Thank you," etc. Though her please sounds more like, peas. so very cute! She tells stories though you really need to know what she has experienced at that time or you wont know what she is saying. One day I picked her up from daycare and one of her teachers, Ana, told me that they hid the others teacher shoe. For those that don't know, teachers aren't allowed to wear shoes in the classrooms where there might be crawling babies. So Toni was telling me later, "Ana, shoe." So I said, "Oh, Ana hid the shoe?"

"Yah."

"Was it funny?"

"Yah."

"Did you laugh?"

"hahahahahaha!"

Heehee... I love when she laughs after I ask if she laughed. So she's fluently saying mommy and daddy and obviously, Ana. Her name is easy. The other teacher, Johnetta, not so much. So she doesn't say her name much. And when she does, it sounds all mumbled together. But she calls Rachelle, Ninang which is filipino for Godmother. Except she doesn't actually say Ninang. It's more like, Nina. And her Uncle Brian, she calls him Byan. She loves her Nina. She talks about her at least once a day. And usually with mention of "Nina" will be puppy and Byan.

She sings! Everyday we sing, "Do Re Mi" from sound of music. She can't quite sing the entire thing, but she gets bits and pieces in there. Definitely has the "Do-re-mi" part down. She's still dancing as much if not more than she has been. Seriously, she is so animated. Loves to sing, dance, talk, and is social! Today we were at Target and I had just changed her diaper. So we're walking out of the restroom and not far from the restrooms is an old man standing waiting for someone to finish checking out. We're just passing by him, but Toni walks right up to him and says, "Hi!" But he doesn't see or hear her for that matter. So I'm like, "Toni he didn't hear you, c'mon it's ok. Let's go." But she persists. Another quality. Persistent (like her mama) which can be both endearing and annoying. So stood there saying hi for the next what felt like eternity (maybe it was 2 minutes) and this old man can't hear her. People are watching her snickering that she really wants to get his attention. Finally he looks down (probably because he is wondering why I am crouched down in front of him) and notices Toni saying, "hi." So he finally smiles and returns the gesture. She seemed satisfied and then walks away with me. That was really interesting because she often stops people in their tracks to say hi. Most people will return the gesture. Some just keep walking and don't notice. She usually looks at those people like "what's wrong with them?" But if we are somewhere where we aren't walking away like in the checkout line, she will persist until she gets a response. So very social.

However, and more recently, I've noticed that she is also starting to fear a little. So we have our beloved dog, Jake. She loves Jake. All of a sudden maybe a month or less ago, she starts to fear him. And not always either. Just sometimes. Like if he happens to walk by (not even look at her) she'll freak. Even more so when he just sniffs her. She'll go crazy... sometimes! And other times she'll just look at him and say, "No, Jake!" Which sounds more like, no Je. People, she starts to fear some people. Very weird too considering she just says hi to strangers but an uncle of hers she hasn't seen in a while freaks her out. I think she is just getting to the stage where she is more aware and therefore fears some things.

And of course, the tantrums. I do believe the "terrible two's" start before two. All kids are different and so I hear before two, at three, at four... at two. Regardless, it happens. She throws more out-of-no-where fits than she ever did. I can tell her, "Toni don't touch that" and she will turn a complete 180 and throw herself down on the ground and scream and is my words turned into daggers and stabbed her... and in the middle of a store. Sigh... those are always fun. <--- Sense the sarcasm. She has cut many shopping trips short. And then the fight I have with her to get her to sit in her car seat. Quite difficult when she refuses to bend at the waist and arches her back. She even puts her ups up straight so it's hard to hold her under her arms. Sometimes her fits are of her bouncing and arms flapping while she cries. I should record that one day and save it to embarass her when she's older. Better yet, to show her when her child does that to her. Oh... maybe I did that? hahahaha! So I hear the "phase" will continue to get worse until they grow out of it. Lord, please grant me the patience for my child's own safety. hahaha! No really, it's amazing the amount of patience I've gained since being a mother.

Sleep at night? hahaha.. that's funny. So I gained patience to just wait until she would sleep so I could sleep. Rock her to sleep? I gained a lot of patience there too. When she was still and infant and I had to rock her to sleep, having to rock a baby for 30 mins seems like eternity. But then I'd put things in perspective. If I can be patient and just do it for 30 minutes, I'll probably have a good 4 hours of sleep at least. However if I try to put her down before the 30 minutes, I risk her waking up which then means, start over. So again, I gained patience there. So really I've gained quite a bit of patience in my 20 months and 2 weeks of motherhood. But I see that I am about to get to a more advanced level. Can I do it? Do I have a choice? Guess I'll have to blog about that in a later entry.

For your viewing pleasure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRhvXGwfLDI